8 Ways to Identify and Overcome Limiting Beliefs in Leadership Coaching
Unlock the full potential of leadership with expert-backed strategies designed to challenge and reshape limiting beliefs. This article delves into proven methods for transforming leadership mindsets and empowering teams, providing a roadmap for personal and professional growth. Learn from the wisdom of seasoned coaches how to balance empathy with authority, and turn vulnerability into a formidable leadership asset.
- Shift Mindsets to Transform Leadership
- Empower Teams for Sustainable Growth
- Challenge Self-Limiting Narratives
- Leverage Past Successes to Build Confidence
- Redefine Success Beyond Job Change
- Decode and Rebuild Sensory Cues
- Embrace Vulnerability as Leadership Strength
- Balance Empathy and Authority Effectively
Shift Mindsets to Transform Leadership
Limiting beliefs are sneaky. They shape how you lead without you even realizing it. If you've ever thought, "My team will take advantage of me if I'm too trusting," or "I need to be tough to gain respect,"—you're not alone. I've coached hundreds of leaders through these thoughts, and I've seen how shifting just a few core mindsets can change everything.
Here's how I've coached a leader to overcome these limiting beliefs:
1. Believe in the Goodness of People
This leader believed his team was lazy and wouldn't perform unless he closely monitored them. He thought that if he trusted them too much, they'd take advantage of him.
Research from Professor Tom Postmes shows the opposite. In crisis situations—plane crashes, terrorist attacks—people are more likely to cooperate than panic. Performance improved when the leader began giving his team more autonomy and trusting their intentions. Trust breeds accountability.
2. Power Doesn't Come from Fear
He also thought maintaining authority required control and emotional distance. Machiavelli's The Prince teaches that power comes from dominance and fear—but research from Dr. Kettler proves otherwise. Leaders who rely on control are often rejected by their teams.
Once he began involving his team in decisions and listening more, morale improved. His team felt more connected and motivated, and performance followed. Respect comes from connection—not control.
3. Compassion Isn't Weakness
At first, this leader avoided direct conversations because he feared being too soft. He didn't want to seem weak. But compassion isn't about being soft—it's about showing care while holding people accountable. When he started giving direct but supportive feedback, his team responded positively. They trusted him more and performed better because they knew he cared. Compassion creates psychological safety, which drives performance.
4. Leadership Can Be Learned
This leader initially believed leadership was an innate trait—you either have it or you don't. That's not true. Dr. Carol Dweck's research on growth mindset shows that leadership is a skill that can be developed.
His confidence grew when he reframed setbacks as growth opportunities, and so did his team's trust in him. Think about it—when you see a problem, do you ask yourself, "How can I figure this out?" or "Maybe I'm just not cut out for this"?
Think of it this way: leadership is a process, not a fixed trait.
Remember, often, leadership isn't about you; it's about those you lead.
Empower Teams for Sustainable Growth
My Approach to Helping Leaders Overcome Limiting Beliefs
Many leaders unknowingly hold onto limiting beliefs that restrict their growth. A common one is: "I have to do everything myself to maintain control." This mindset can lead to burnout, stalled business growth, and a disengaged team. My coaching approach focuses on challenging these beliefs through structured frameworks, realigning leadership priorities, and guiding leaders to step into a more strategic role.
One example is Frank, the owner of a specialist recruitment agency. When he approached me, he was working 60+ hour weeks, deeply involved in day-to-day operations, and unsure how to scale his growing business. His limiting belief was as follows: "If I don't oversee everything, things will fall apart."
The Breakthrough Moment
Through coaching, we identified the real issue: Frank wasn't trusting his team to take ownership. He was stuck in a cycle of micromanagement, handling recruitment, performance reviews, and inductions... all while trying to drive business growth. We worked through a leadership shift, focusing on:
Hiring people who were better than him in key areas.
Developing clear systems and processes for accountability.
Shifting his mindset from 'doing' to 'leading'.
Initially, Frank struggled to let go. But once he empowered his team, he started seeing results. He gained clarity on his long-term vision and realized that scaling required him to work on the business, not in it.
The Outcome
Within a year:
His business grew 300%.
He took multiple breaks--including during peak season.
He created a three-year business blueprint, eliminating guesswork.
For Frank, what changed was that he redefined what he understood leadership to be. Also, he no longer saw stepping back as a risk but as a necessity for sustainable growth. Instead of firefighting daily issues, he focused on strategy, vision, and building a self-sufficient team.
Key Takeaway
Limiting beliefs keep leaders stuck. The key to breaking through is recognizing when control is holding you back rather than driving success. When leaders embrace trust, systems, and long-term vision, they shift from being trapped in their business to truly owning it.
Challenge Self-Limiting Narratives
My approach to helping leaders identify limiting beliefs starts with cultivating self-awareness. It's about encouraging them to examine their thoughts and assumptions, to recognize the patterns that hold them back. I often use reflective questioning and journaling exercises to help them uncover these hidden beliefs. Here's what you need to know, once a limiting belief is identified, we challenge its validity. We ask, "Is this belief based on fact or perception?" "What evidence supports it, and what evidence contradicts it?" This process helps leaders see that many of their limiting beliefs are simply stories they've told themselves, not necessarily the truth.
Alternatively, I worked with a CEO who believed he wasn't creative enough to lead innovation. He felt he was more of an operational leader, focused on execution. We explored the origins of this belief, tracing it back to a childhood experience where his artistic efforts were criticized. In addition to this, we reframed his definition of creativity, recognizing that innovation isn't just about artistic expression; it's also about problem-solving, strategic thinking, and seeing new possibilities. We identified examples of his past successes where he had demonstrated creative thinking. By challenging his limiting belief, he opened himself up to new ideas and empowered his team to drive innovation. It's about shifting the mindset from "I can't" to "How can I?"
Leverage Past Successes to Build Confidence
Limiting beliefs can come in many forms: impostor syndrome, unhelpful assumptions, lack of confidence, and deep-rooted thoughts that reduce the ability to see around issues and/or inhibit the client's ability to apply their strengths.
One powerful technique I use is to ask the client to outline the 10 stellar successes of their career so far and explore the strengths and attributes they used to overcome the problems to create the success (It sometimes takes a while to get to 10). In doing this, it reminds them of the skills, strengths, and personal qualities they can apply to the current issues they face, it creates confidence because it demonstrates how they did move forward then and can move forward now. It also moves away from "What if it all goes wrong?" to a focus on "What if it all goes right?"
In some situations, 'the five whys' can really dig deep to help clients identify areas where they are self-limiting. When coaching a finance director recently, my client had self-pigeonholed to looking for new roles in Finance, but they expressed a desire to do more.
These techniques held a mirror up, and while they had a great track in finance, they also had a great track record in the qualities and attributes needed for a wider role, too, like a CEO, which they realized really excited them. Suddenly, the job search expanded.
Redefine Success Beyond Job Change
I have worked with many leaders who are thinking about leaving their jobs because they don't like the current role or environment. They have a limiting belief that they must leave their current organization in order to be happy, fulfilled and/or to have the opportunities and experiences they desire. These leaders come into coaching with success defined as finding a position at another organization.
I like to support these leaders to recognize their limiting beliefs and to redefine success. When this belief comes up in coaching, I like to ask the leader to describe their ideal role and work environment. We explore this on a deep level - with details such as their daily activities, their workload, their colleagues, their impact, their commute, and even their desired schedule. Once we have created a robust picture together, I encourage the leader to do some homework: Take the robust picture and convert it into two lists of nice-to-haves and non-negotiables. This thoughtful written exercise helps the leader to assess and prioritize what is truly most important for this next phase of their career and life. They are now able to change the definition of success from "leaving this organization and finding a job elsewhere" to "securing a position that meets my criteria."
With this new definition of success, I like to explore with the leader what is possible within their current employment situation. What criteria are already present in their current role? Noticing what is missing in the current situation, what might they ask for? Could they be happy in the current organization if their needs were met? What is the risk in asking the current employer for support in meeting the criteria, especially if the leader is going to leave the organization anyway if the requests are not met?
The idea that if a leader is unhappy in their current situation, then they must leave their organization is a limiting belief that greatly reduces the options for a leader to consider. Exploring what is possible in the current environment as well as in new organizations opens the possibilities for the leader's consideration, ensuring the leader has the opportunity for the best possible outcome.
Decode and Rebuild Sensory Cues
Most people think that limiting beliefs live in the space between their ears, which is why people have so much trouble changing them. All beliefs, including those that limit us are woven into the fabric of our physiology and defend themselves by using our body's sensory-motor nervous system. Effectively overcoming limiting beliefs isn't about changing our thinking, it's about knowing how to consciously shift our sensory states. One limiting belief I've helped several leaders overcome is that "No matter what I do, it's never good enough." This limiting belief projects itself forward such that leaders unconsciously determine that they will come up short even before they take an action. This unconscious determination comes with a very specific sensory cue whether a leader is conscious of it or not. Coaching leaders on how to become aware of, decode, modify, and rebuild those very sensory cues are the steps necessary to overcome and transform the limiting beliefs that are hindering their success.
Embrace Vulnerability as Leadership Strength
Limiting beliefs are unique to the leader, the context of their leadership, and where they are on their leader development journey. Organizational cultures and micro-cultures within the organization may be positively reinforcing limiting beliefs. But there are deeply rooted limiting beliefs that show up universally for leaders. A common limiting belief is "If I show vulnerability, I will lose credibility." A reframe from "vulnerability equals weakness" to "vulnerability equals courage" is helpful. Sharing research-backed support for vulnerability strengthening leader effectiveness is important and we translate that to action steps for the leader's situation. I work with leaders to identify a personalized shift in this particular limiting belief to something like "When I acknowledge challenges, my team will see me as real and relatable." Then we connect this to factors like team cohesion, performance and psychological safety.
Balance Empathy and Authority Effectively
Identifying Limiting Beliefs:
To help leaders recognize their limiting beliefs, I start by encouraging them to reflect on situations or tasks that trigger negative emotions like fear or frustration. I ask them to list things they avoid or struggle with, as humans tend to shy away from what makes them feel inadequate. I then use surveys to inventory these responses, identifying patterns in their thinking. From there, I apply Socratic questioning to explore the underlying beliefs and challenge the assumptions driving them.
One common limiting belief I often encounter, especially among women leaders, is the notion that they must choose between being friendly or authoritative. Many women believe that being approachable undermines their authority, resulting in a false dichotomy between the two. This belief often hinders their ability to lead authentically and effectively.
Overcoming Limiting Beliefs:
Once the limiting belief is identified, I use coaching techniques and cognitive reframing to help leaders challenge and reshape their mindset. We start by exploring the current belief and then consider alternative perspectives. For example, I might ask, "What if being friendly could actually enhance your authority?"
I also help leaders focus on adjacent beliefs--those related but less entrenched in the core limiting belief. By addressing these adjacent beliefs, leaders can gain confidence in tackling the core issue. This process includes introducing new strategies and practices to broaden their thinking, ultimately empowering them to adopt a more flexible and authentic leadership style.
Example:
A powerful example of this approach occurred with a group of women executives who struggled with balancing empathy and authority. They believed that showing empathy would make them appear weak or ineffective as leaders. Through our work, we discovered that their real challenge was setting personal boundaries in the workplace. Once we redefined what it meant to be both empathetic and authoritative, we worked on developing strategies like active listening and setting clear professional boundaries. These tools allowed them to be both supportive and strong leaders.
The result was a shift in their leadership style. They felt more empowered to be both compassionate and assertive, leading to stronger team dynamics and improved relationships with their direct reports. These leaders were able to build trust and respect without compromising their authority.
